Day 6

Day six of unemployment:

Just write the damn story. How many times have I told myself this? Enough. I think my reluctance is passive-aggressive snark trapped inside. I don't want to write it. I don't want to do anything that would boost my ex-employer. But like in a break up where you're pretending to be friends in order for personal gain (like maybe you want to date his best friend, or cousin or something and don't want to come off as vindictive or rattled) I feel compelled to turn something in. I will need those references at some point.
I finally write the story. I can't help myself: it's good. Not wonderful, but good considering the situation.
Later, I have lunch with my work friend. She says there's a little bit of a gloom over the newsroom and especially downstairs. During the meeting on Monday, she says, the other reporters are stunningly quiet. Probably, I say, just relieved it wasn't them. I want things to go wrong because I'm not there. I want my loss to be felt. I feel like a ghost considering a haunting.

Off to hang out with the friend in town. We will make owls and eat coney dogs.